Thank Goodness for a Sex-Driven Consumer Holiday

04Feb10

Valentine’s Day is coming up! Who’s excited? Normally, I’m not into the Hallmark Holidays, but I understand the desire to have some fun when you have the opportunity, so I won’t lecture anyone on how you should love your S.O. every day. Instead, let’s focus on the fact that you’ll probably get some nookie. Without further ado, here are some V-Day Dos and Don’ts.

DO Share a Meal with Your Loved One; DON’T Get Gassy Afterward
Breaking Bread is one of the most special things we humans can share. You could go out for a nice dinner, splurge on the bottle of wine, and order the chocolate dessert, or you could check out Fork Me, Spoon Me by Amy Reilly and cook for an extra-special V-Day. Trust her, she’s an expert. And a cheap one at $13.95. Go Ahead, Eat Something Sexy! forkmespoonme.com

Just in case the culinary cabaret gives your digestive system more than you bargained for, wear a Subtle Butt: disposable gas neutralizer. It will save you from embarrassment- just in case. Smelly gas might ruin the mood. I’m just sayin’.$9.95 at subtlebutt.com

DON’T Wear Panties; DO Wear (under)Garment Guard
Drive your lover crazy by letting him know that you aren’t wearing any underwear. Still, you don’t have to be totally naughty. Keep the protection with (under)garment guard, 100% cotton disposable adhesive underwear that sticks to your trousers and creates a layer of protection between you and them without causing VPL or whale tale. You know, just sayin’.

DON’T Be Typical; DO Use your Imagination
Maybe it’s just me, but roses, diamonds, and teddy bears are completely overrated. Instead, rent a great horror movie (you can cuddle on the couch when you get scared) and… OK, it’s just me.

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